In A Hole In The Ground

Posted on 12 Jan 2026 @ 2:47pm by Captain Threlox & Lieutenant JG Mora Essik & Lieutenant Michael "Mickey" Ballentyne

911 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Opening Transmission
Location: USS Proteus: Main Mess Hall, Deck 5
Timeline: 1826.19 - 1300 HR
Tags: Ballentyne, Essik, Proteus, Threlox, Mishaps

Mickey ordered the penne pasta all'arrabbiata and sat alone, admiring the shining white curve of the Constitution-class cruiser in the bay of the Starbase. The mysterious, quantum-encrypted PADD that Foster had entrusted to him upon their parting lay discarded on the table surface.

Lieutenant JG Mora Essik was already in the Main Mess Hall when Lieutenant Ballentyne entered and took a seat. She stopped by the self-serve beverage station to refill her PROT coffee mug. Ballentyne was focused on the neighbouring Constitution-class starship in the nearby berth. He hadn't seen her, she moved unseen and gently punched him in the upper shoulder, "Hobbit, I see you're getting your elevenses."

“Second elevenses”, replied Ballentyne nonchalantly. He looked up at his friend and smiled sadly. “I think the shire’s going to be very different for a while.”

"I've been tracking your replicator usage for entertainment value. The metabolism you must have is genuinely unfair." She sat down beside him. She noticed the frown, "So what's bothering you, my little hobbit?"

Mickey would’ve usually laughed or threatened to quantum-encrypt the replicator buffer. “I’m going to miss Foster and the Old Man”, he muttered, putting his fork down. “They also gave me these”, he shook his wrists indicating his new Lieutenant stripes, “and the Old Man bounced the new Captain into making me Chief Science…” Mickey trailed off. While he was passionate about science and exploration, he’d never really thought of himself as a career Starfleet Officer.

"I know the three of you were close," Essik continued, "but you're not going to lose me anytime soon."

“I’m counting on it!” Mickey smiled at Mora warmly.

She looked down at the full lieutenant stripes on his sleeve, "Congratulations are in order, I guess? Did you ever want to be Chief Science?"

“Thanks... I guess,” he paused for thought. “Some day if You-Know-Who didn’t murder me first… but I was happy with the way things were.”

"Murder? On the Proteus?" Mora's lips quirked. "Please. If anyone's going to kill you, it'll be boredom from too many sensor readings. The new captain seems more interested in science than homicide."

Mickey raised his eyebrows and speared a piece of pasta. “I love astronomical phenomena as much as the next Science Officer, but…” He then shook his head and fixed his attention on Mora properly for the first time since she sat down. “What do you know?” He pointed at her with his fork, sauce flying across the table.

Mickey's arrabbiata sauce struck across Essik's face and on her uniform's undershirt. Her facial expression was reserved across her face, which slowly turned into a slightly irritable smirk.

“Well?” pressed Mickey, ignoring the specks of sauce on Mora’s face… “Spill it!”

"You just assaulted a Starfleet Security Officer with-" Mora wet her forefinger on her right hand, wiped the sauce with it, and then licked it to taste. Offbeat, she continued, "-arrabbiata sauce."

She reached her hand for a napkin from the condiment centerpiece and wiped the sauce from her face, "It's a good thing I'm a friend. A good one at that."

“You are!” Agreed Mickey. “Even if you told Sparks that I have hairy feet” Mickey smiled conspiratorially. “Are we still on for leg day in the gym later?”

"Well, you are a Hobbit," the Security Officer replied with pragmatism, "Sure. 2100?"

Mickey put down his fork. "There is a lot more in me than you guess," he placed his hand on his chest before continuing, "and a deal more than I have any idea of myself! And I also never skip leg day, unlike some of us!"

Mora made a snarky guffaw at Mickey's comment, "I would like to see you leg press what I can any day."

Mickey laughed and thought back to his evening the night before, "As if any man could!"

She kicked his shin under the table teasingly. "Please. You weigh what, 60 kilos soaking wet? I could probably bench press you."

Mickey laughed and flicked sauce across the table, "Oooh, yes please, Mommy!"

She anticipated being sauced by Mickey again, so when she saw his utensil of choice: a small spoon motioned towards her, she ducked. The sauce in slow motion went over her head, and a few droplets got into her hair. Her head bobbed upward, unaware of who was now standing behind her, "Bitch, please. If you're going to call me 'Mommy', at least buy me dinner first."

Mickey inhaled sharply as he watched the morsel of pasta sauce collide straight into the chest of Captain Threlox.

"I trust the mess hall food is to your satisfaction, Mr. Ballentyne?" Captain Threlox asked rhetorically in a very dry tone.

“The food is acceptable, sir. However the… company leaves much to be desired.”

The Lieutenant immediately rose to her feet and turned to face the Captain, meeting his eyes directly, "Captain-"

"No need to get up," the Denobulan part of him found the present chaos in the Mess Hall between the Lieutenants quite amusing, even if he got the brunt of it, "Just pick up my dry cleaning bill and we will call it even."

OFF:

Lieutenant JG Mora Essik
Not Your Mommy (Unless You Buy Dinner First), USS Proteus

and

Lieutenant Michael "Mickey" Ballentyne
Chief Science Hobbit, USS Proteus

featuring an undersauced boss:

Captain Threlox
Commanding Officer, USS Proteus

 

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